Growing up, I was introduced to the Bible, attended Church and knew about the story of Jesus. As time went on, I made a lot of mistakes in my life, and did many wrong things that emotionally hurt. It hurt me, and it hurt the people around me. Sexual sin , anger, blasphemies, lying, cheating, and so many other things. Each time I sinned, I felt that feeling sorry about it, praying about it, and going to church would fix it. The main focus of my religious experience was avoiding hell and I saw God from a fear perspective only.
I believed in some parts of the Bible, but I also thought many parts of the Bible couldn’t be taken literally. I didn’t understand what it meant to accept Jesus into my life, or give my life to Christ, they were difficult and vague concepts to me. It was easier to think that doing good equals getting good. Then one day I was reading this hymn that went something like this “crying will not save me, prayer will not save me, only Jesus can save me”. And I was so surprised, shocked, and depressed by this. This hymn was saying there was no way I could earn heaven, except through relationship with Jesus. I tried ignoring the hymn, but it just kept coming back in my thoughts. Up to this point I had not seen Jesus as a real person and it really began to challenge my beliefs.
This was about 10 years ago, and things suddenly began to change. Through testimonies of friends and Christian literature, my trust in the Bible started increasing. Eventually I believed that Jesus had taken the punishment for my wrong actions and I gained forgiveness through Him. But I had accepted Jesus as my Savior, but failed to give him my attention and my time. My heart was saved but it wasn’t fully submitted to Him as Lord. Sin again found ways into my life and habits, leaving me with shame and disappointment. I began to doubt that what Jesus did could fully save me.
Then just about 5 months ago I came to Canada, and God has met me in a new way. Through this Church and the promptings of God within me, I came to understand what Jesus taking my punishment by dying on the cross really meant. God loves me, and He actually wants a loving, intimate relationship with me. He lavishly loves me, He blesses me, and yet he longs for me to love him back by my own free will.
I now spend more time in Church than I have in the past 28 years of my life combined; I spend more time in prayer and in talking to others about the love of God. My wrong habits have become so easy to break away from. But the real difference in my life is that I can call Jesus “Lord”, because he has first place, above my Dad, my sisters, the woman I love, my friends, above everyone. Jesus is my Lord and my Savior. He showed my that he loves me and now I want to live the rest of my life showing my love for Him.
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This is my testimony given at my baptism